he always shows up

I’m thankful for B in a million different ways, especially because he always shows up -- for the good, the bad, the beautiful, the messy, the dream, and the reality. He doesn’t shy away from any of it.

Becoming parents has been a beautiful chapter, but it’s also challenging. Our little one suffers from colic and gas pains and because of this the first half of the day often looks happy and calm and the second half is filled with tears and long bouts of crying and screaming. Sometimes it feels like we have two completely different babies. Some nights are more mentally and emotionally exhausting than others.

Last night was one of those nights. Little Man cried and screamed on and off for hours, fought us during every feeding, vomited all the milk he ate on himself and me, cried and screamed while we bathed him, and ended in me crying under the blankets in our bed and feeling like I’m doing everything wrong.

But I wasn’t alone in any of it. B was by my side for all of it. He offered to take turns with him, he undressed him while I changed my clothes, and finished bedtime so I could have some time to myself to process my own emotions. Having a partner who shows up in the hard times and good times is everything. We’ve learned to lean on each other and into each other during the last couple of months in ways we didn’t before. We’re still finding our new rhythm and balance, but we have each other, and he has us.

Today I woke up, cuddled up to my husband for an extra couple of minutes before getting out of bed, hugged our baby boy good morning, and reminded myself that today is a new day.

I’m sharing this story for three reasons.
1. Because I’m so thankful for B. He’s the only person I can ever imagine going on this journey with.
2. To remind everyone that social media is a highlight reel. It allows us to share what are most often the best parts of life or the parts we want to remember most. It’s not a lie, but it’s not the full picture. Be gentle, try not to judge others too harshly, and don’t make assumptions.
3. And because I’m trying to be more open about my journey and story. I believe if we are all a little more open and honest with each other, we’d realize that we’re not alone in our feelings, our challenges, our vulnerabilities, and our victories.

So, whether your day ends perfectly or in tears, please remember this: tomorrow is a new day.